Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Are you kidding me?

"Your 2010 San Francisco Giants: Bringing Futility to Utility." Now there's a marketing slogan for you.

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends. Mark DeRosa and Juan Uribe will don the orange and black, meaning another year of mediocre offense is at hand. Figure in the arbitration raises for Tim Lincecum and Brian Wilson that are sure to come, and Giants management has retained just enough cash to pay Brian Sabean's cab fare out of town (may the firing happen swiftly).

To be fair, Uribe and DeRosa are decent players, but is either the answer the Giants woes? Well, Uribe sure isn't -- he proved that last year (I had a coach tell me once that he lost with me, he could lose without me -- that's Uribe). You don't upgrade by bringing back the same cast of idiots. We can hope DeRosa is an improvement, but my reasons for thinking otherwise have already been posted so we'll leave it at that. But what galls me the most is that the Giants just signed the same guy twice. Is either player anything more than a utility man?

There's something to be said for versatility, but a team of number-six hitters is still just that. The Giants have tried this before, jamming a guy into a role he isn't suited for. From Bengie Molina to Pedro Feliz to Aaron Rowand and more, the Giants can't seem to grasp this one simple concept: You can't take a guy who should be hitting in the lower third of your order and pronounce him the solution just because he's marginally better than the stiff you had there before (who had no business in that role either).

If you assume the Giants liked what they saw from Uribe and are hoping he'll repeat that effort, then the best you can expect from that move is to stand pat. That means the "upgrade" is DeRosa -- who is 34 and coming off wrist surgery and a sub-par year. Wow, I'm brimming with confidence in that move.

Stop me if you've heard this before. "Yes, Player X struggled last year but he's historically put up good numbers. We believe he'll return to form. Ignore that he just received his AARP card." Are you buying that? Congratulations. You just talked yourself into signing Edgar Renteria again. Or Ryan Klesko. Or Randy Johnson. Or Jeff Fassero. Or Brett Tomko. Or ....

My brain is starting to hurt. Anyone seen the head-exploding scene from Scanners?

These moves come at the same time the Mets have locked up Jason Bay. Now Bay didn't want to come to San Francisco, but reports are that he was hoping someone -- anyone - would step up and rescue him from the poor fit that was New York. Opportunity missed?

While I wouldn't advocate the Giants spending all of their money on an overpriced guy like Bay, at least the Mets went after an upgrade. They NEEDED a left fielder, and they got a decent one. I'm convinced that his signing isn't going to make or break that team, but at least their fans believe the Mets are making an effort. Did you get that same feeling about the Giants when they "bagged" DeRosa and Uribe.

Yeah, start printing those World Series tickets, pal.

The Hot Stove has as much to do with PR as it does with player acquisition. You have to convince your fan base that you (a) want to win, and (b) at least have some clue how to go about it if you want support -- i.e. revenue.

No one but the most delusional of Pollyannas can look at the Giants' off-season moves and think the team is any better off than it was in 2009. Its leading HR hitter is gone, its biggest offensive threat doesn't have a postion, and the GM is saying its two biggest prospects aren't ready for the show but may have to play anyway because he can't bribe any decent player to fill the gap. Oy vey!

If someone can answer this one simple question for me, I might be a little less likely to scale a clock tower with a deer rifle: How can the team get better if it doesn't get better players?

Are you seriously telling me that Mark DeRosa is the key to it all? Saying this is the solution is like claiming the Hokey Pokey is what it's all about. He's not a bad player, but he's not a difference maker -- something the Giants are severely lacking. What he is, quite frankly, is a pale Juan Uribe. One is fine. One has value. Two is a major mistake ordered up direct from the Department of Redundancy Department. Meanwhile, every roster space and salary dollar spent on a guy who isn't the solution is one less spot or buck available to someone who is.

Since an impact acquisition clearly isn't in their immediate future, are the Giants now saying that the hope is that guys like Valez or Lewis (who have no discernable baseball skills sans speed) finally figure it out at an age where they should already be at their peak? Are they saying John Bowker and Nate Schierholtz are closer to Mays and Bonds than Todd Linden or Jason Ellison or Damon Minor or Cody Ransom or Carlos Valderama, or (insert favorite lauded-prospect-turned-grocery-store-clerk here)? Are they saying Sabean was wrong about Bumgarner and Posey and they'll contribute in 2010-- and if so, why is a guy who is consistently that wrong still employed?

This is an organization doing nothing but spinning its wheels, and this week's moves are the most glaring evidence so far. If the Giants were so desperate for utility guys that they needed to sign two, then what was the point of wasting three years of development time on the just-departed Kevin Frandsen? I swear they're just making this up as they go.

This isn't rocket science. Any fantasy league or Strat-O-Matic geek will tell you the deep dark secret that isn't secret at all: better players win more games. You can shuffle the deck and put the cards in any order you like, but you aren't going to build a Lotus out of Volkswagen parts. Sabean continues to make his purchases from the Salvation Army thrift store, hoping the personality-challenged dude from Antique Road Show will show up and tell him he bought a Monet for six bucks. Don't hold your breath.

This would be laughable if it weren't so pathetic. The Giants have glaring holes. Sandoval is their only power bat, by their own admission they do not have a catcher or a fifth starter (and barely a fourth), the corner outfield positions are (to be polite) unsettled, and previous genius signings like Aaaron Rowand and Edgar Renteria continue to suck the lifeblood out of the payroll like Amy Winehouse sucks down tequila shooters. But hey, we got DeRosa and Uribe! Yahoo! I'm so excited I think I'll wet my pants.

Where exactly are the solutions going to come from? Is Sabean hoping the Baseball Fairy delivers someone who actually belongs in the three hole or has he already committed to another season of Three Card Monte with the line-up?

The Giants, and their management, are the poster children for mediocrity. They willingly spend money on C-grade players, pat themselves on the back for the accomplishment if they land a C+, and then wonder why anyone dares question their decisions while the team, predictably, fails.

Perhaps its appropriate that a statue of Charlie Brown sits on the Club Level at AT&T Park because that's the perfect metaphor for Giants management. They repeatedly convince themselves that this time Lucy isn't going to pull the football away -- and then wonder why they always end up flat on their backs.

I've got a feeling 2010 will be no different.


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1 comment:

  1. U R NOT A LOAN

    Ignorance truly IS bliss.
    (Waves pennant furiously with eyes tightly shut)

    Suppose someone had snapped up DeRosa previous to Brian's brain - where would we be?

    You wonder, sometimes, if they look at the FA market...and then draw a name out of a hat.

    ReplyDelete

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