Monday, April 19, 2010

Giants in Free-Fall: Only 149 Gut-Wrenching Games to Go

Analysis of the Giants pitchers: Not good enough to overcome the team’s considerable offensive shortcomings.

Analysis of the Giants offense: An unmitigated disaster.

For the second straight game the pitchers served up a game-winning long ball, and for the second straight game the offense was nothing short of embarrassing. There are T-ball teams that could defeat this sorry compilation of talent.

Every school had one – a girl with a smoking-hot body who kept flashing guys “the look”. You knew the payoff would be incredible so you blew every dime you made with that that crappy summer job on one big date; only to find out she had any intention of doing anything other than spending your cash.

After a 7-2 start, the Giants have made it clear they aren’t going to put out. Thanks for dinner, here’s a peck on the cheek at the door.

It’s obvious these guys can’t hit. Not consistently, and not at the Major League level. After a fast start that was clearly an optical illusion, the Giants team I predicted we’d see this year has made it’s appearance. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think their last RISP hit came during the Reagan Administration.

Interesting story. After Torres’ maddening but totally-predictable double play grounder with the bases juiced, I went off on a tirade about RISP. My wife asked about the acronym, and I had to explain the particulars of hits with Runners In Scoring Position. I shouldn’t be surprised that she didn’t know what they were - it’s been so bloody long since the Giants actually produced such a thing that I couldn’t recognize one if it walked up and introduced itself.

The Giants have lost three of four on the road trip, laying this rather considerable egg within the division – further testament that their hot start was a function of the opposition and not their ability.

The offense needs a four-fold improvement to be called inept. With this year’s prime acquisition (DeRosa) flirting with the Mendoza line, it’s pretty clear that the Giants, despite the early-season binge, didn’t improve their offense a lick. For two straight games they have failed to deliver a single hit with a runner in scoring position, an act unmatched since, well, since the 2009 San Francisco Giants.

These guys aren’t better. It’s the same pig with a different shade of lipstick. They’ve come back to Earth with a resounding thud.

Brace yourselves, Giants fans. This is shaping up to be a VERY long year.

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