Giants Win Series, Capture Flint Mega-Bowl

So, for what feels like the first time since Blondie was on the charts, the Giants have won a series. Of course, it would be too much to hope that such a milestone would come against a legitimate Major League contender rather than the "are we for real?" Washington Nationals, but given the sad state of affairs on the west side of The Bay we'll gladly accept the gift.

However (there's always a however with me), I'm certainly not thrilled about how the Giants went about it. How often can you count on a Todd Wellemeyer bloop single to key a four-run barrage, or depend on someone other than Brian Sabean to actually believe the large tub of goo known as Tyler Walker could be entrusted with a lead?

I fear what we may see much more of is the struggling squad evidenced behind a shaky Tim Lincecum in Game Two -- an outing that caused me to recall the wise and prophetic words of the immortal Jackie Moon:

"EVERYBODY PANIC!!!  It's like the Titanic, but it's full of bears!!!  There will be no refunds! Your refund will be escaping this deathtrap with your life! If you have a small child, use it as a shield! They love the tender meat! Cover your sodas! Dewie loves sugar! "

Lincecum was saddled with his first loss, but he hasn't won a game in nearly a month and has been shaky in each of his last three starts. And, quite honestly, I find it hard to place all of the blame on him. Four times he left a game with a lead, only to watch the bullpen play giveaway like Pac Mac Jones tossing out sawbucks in a strip club. On only one of those occasions did Timmmy Franchise get even modest run support. Going to the rubber every fifth day knowing he has to be perfect had to take more of a toll than the EZ Pass lane on the Bay Bridge.

You gotta feel for the pitching staff, even for that stiff Wellemeyer. Pitchers are rearely perfect, yet this group goes to the hill knowing each and every game is going to be a death struggle.

I was pleased to see the San Jose Mercury News finally call Sabean out this week. Some choice excerpts:

"Until offense arrives, there can be no satisfaction in San Francisco. When your job is to pitch and you're doing it well and your labor often goes to waste, words of encouragement get stale. They can become hollow, even irritating. And the postgame walk into the clubhouse is a test in anger management. When a team has a rotation capable of dominating a postseason, it's the GM's job to acquire an offense capable of delivering it to October."

and....

"Though Sabean signed an extension through 2011, it's on him to come up with something that can dazzle fans, wake up the lineup, fortify the pitchers and, ultimately, increase his own job security."

I still haven't figured out what Faustian bargain Sabean made to keep his job, although I believe that rather than selling his own soul he sold the club's. In the process, he sold every single Giants fan down the river.

The Giants proved again in Game Three that an Orange and Black rally needs a lot of help. Freddy Sanchez delivered the big hit, but it was Adam Dunn's stellar defense at first that set the table. The Nationals should send the guy out there with a fork and a boxing glove.

I want to be excited by a series win, I really do. But Affeldt is hurt, Renteria is hurt (again), Medders supposedly is on target to return (horrors!) and the Giants still haven't given any indication that they're looking for offense. Part of me wants the team to make a move, but another part is terrified that it'll involve dealing Posey and Downs for the next Shea Hillenbrand.

The Giants have a team batting average of .256 -- not awful but certainly not something that strikes fear into the hearts of enemy hurlers. But the way they hit is troubling. Most of the success came in the season's first three weeks, and the mark when it counts is about as frightening as a surf outing on the Louisiana Gulf Coast. When your offensive leader is Juan Uribe, you're totally screwed.

It was bound to happen sooner or later. The offense is finally dragging down the pitching. Most teams know that even their ace will slump upon occasion, but the trade-off is that there are days you can stink it up on the hill and know the offense will bail you out. The Giants entertain no such expectations.

Huff said it: the way the team is hitting, being down 1-0 feels like 10-0. When Timmy fell behind, I opted for watching Deadliest Catch. It's demoralizing -- even more so on the rare occasions when the Giants do hit and the pitchers fail to perform. There is no margin for error, and that's no way for fallable human beings to perform.

So we sit and wait for Sabean to do something smart -- to bring in someone who will actually make an impact. Until then?

"Corndogs, Jackie. Corndogs for all these people."