So Why Am I Not Happy?

One week into the second half of the season the Giants have started off with a nice 5-2 run. So why is it that this little streak is so incredibly unsatisfying?

We'll return to that question in a moment, but first I'd like to discuss the matter of cockroaches.

You know how roaches are. It's not about what they eat or what they carry away, it's what they fall into and ruin. The Giants have a veritable roach motel in the bullpen, but I'd rather focus on the largest pests: Edgar Renteria and Aaron Rowand. Someone tell me where I can buy a case of Black Flag.

Anyone notice how a great number of the Giants' misadventures seem to involve one or both of these heroes? Neither has delivered a timely hit since Lindsay Lohan was straight (unless you count Rowand getting drilled), and Renteria's matador defense is becoming impossible to ignore. Don't forget that Lincecum's poor first inning wasn't helped when Renteria went ole' with the throw on a steal attempt. Seeing either of these, uh, gentlemen in a critical situation generally illicits shouts from me that would make Mel Gibson look positively sedate.

Their failures are becoming impossible to ignore. Rowand is a $12 million-a-year fourth outfielder and Renteria is a joke. If the rumors are correct, that the Giants are in the market for an outfielder, then let's hope to God that Rowand is part of the deal. It's doubtful anyone would be interested in Rent-a-wreck, but at least his expiring contract makes is possible for the Giants to DFA the bozo and eat a couple months worth of cheese -- if they have the stones.

Now, back to our regularly-scheduled program.

It's amazing that the Giants won five of seven to start the second half (and it should have been six had Phil Cuzzi not forgotten his seeing-eye dog) considering their bats are apparently still on hiatus. Note to the Giants hitters: it's okay to take a freaking pitch. Case in point, the last two nights.

Game two of the Dodgers series saw the Giants put Clayton Kershaw in jeopardy in the second inning. Did they build on it? Uh, no. In  the third, the Giants were retired on eight pitches. One night later Chad Billingsley recorded 16 of his first 20 outs in four pitches or less. What, the Giants were afraid they'd miss a a flight? They show all the patience of a virgin at a brothel. Once again the Giants made a good pitcher look like someone had cloned Cy Young.

I'm not advocating taking pitches for the sake of taking pitches, but you gotta make hurlers expend some effort. It's not hard to work deep into games when you're throwing your 75th pitch in the seventh inning -- and that's happening a lot. You swing at good pitches when you get them, but judging from the outcome the Giants are suffering from either poor pitch selection or poor player selection, because 15 groundball outs versus Kershaw ain't gonna get it done.

For the second time this season, Zito was the victim of non-support at Dodger Stadium. I guess the Giants figured it was only fitting that they give a game away, returning the favor of one night before when the Giants did absolutely nothing to earn a win save watching the Blue Crew implode.

Am I pleased they went 5-2? Of course. I'm also not blind -- unlike Phil Cuzzi. What the Giants have done over the past week in not sustainable. The chance this team will reel off consectuive shoutouts, which is what they pretty much need to do unless the opposition feels charitable, is about the same as Bengie Molina hitting for the cycle and..... oh, never mind.

For the most part the pitching has showed up. Only Lincecum had a bad outing among the starters. But the offense, well, it's pretty offensive. Only Posey and Huff provide any consistent threat. The Giants simply cannot continue to rely on the arms. Game three at Chavez Latrine was the 31st time this year the Giants scored two runs or less. In those games they've managed exactly FOUR wins, and two came in the past week. So, how's that "pitching and defense" thing working out?

There are plenty of culprits, especially from the Dodgers finale, but the guy wearing the biggest goat horns is the Panda. Typical knee-jerk move from Bochy, elevating him back to the heart of the line-up based on one game.  Right now the guy is hitting a stellar two bucks with runners in scoring position. Pablo Sandoval shouldn't hit above the seven spot until he gets his act together.

The Giants are in position to get into position, and the areas they need to upgrade are obvious. They need an outfield bat, a shortstop who can hit, and middle relief. To do that they'll need to deal something of value, which is why I was so distrubed to read that Bochy is "reticent" to trade away starting pitching.

Hey, Melonhead. You don't have anything else anyone wants. Listening to Bochy and Sabean talk about potential deals is not unlike listening to your local fantasy geek lamenting that the back-up catcher he wants to trade won't fetch him Albert Pujols. To get something, you gotta give up something, and the Giants' "something " is pitching.

The Brewers or Phillies want Sanchez to get Hart or Werth? I'll help him pack, drive him to the airport, pick the new guy up and set him up with my sister. If all they offer is scraps, they're angling for nothing more substantial than the return of Ricky Ledee or Shea Hillenbrand.

The needs are obvious. Unfortunately the needs have been obvious for years. Equally obvious has been the failure of Brian Sabean to do one damn thing about it.

So what could have been a glorious first week ends with a bitter disappointment. It's a recurring theme with the Giants -- a chance to really make a mark gets sqandered, and this one can't be blamed on the umpires. Besides, I blame them for enough already -- Sunday's loss, bad TV, hair loss -- it's all their fault.

I'd love to see umpires treated the same way the English Premiere League treats soccer teams. Fall below a certain standard, you're done. Send the failing umps back to AAA.

Cuzzi, Joe West, Angel Hernandez -- your tickets for Buffalo are waiting.