Let the Torture Continue!

The paramedics just left. I'm feeling much better now.

Another heart-stopping finish from the Giants bullpen was in store, but after two consecutive meltdowns the pen came through in its third bite at the apple, and the Atlanta Braves are no more. A nail-biting 3-2 final at Turner Field has put the Giants into the NLCS.

Torture. Sweet, beautiful torture. Thanks to the last few weeks my heart is in worse shape than Dick Cheney's (if he actually has one), and, quite frankly, I just don't give a rip. The Giants are still alive.

Eleven lousy runs in four games. Two bullpen meltdowns. Coaching blunders. Mental and physical mistakes. And yet, these guys are four wins away from the World Series and eight from the Promised Land.

This is a team that will absolutely wear out a fan. There never seems to be that streak where they steam roll the opposition, where every game is a laugher and you just sit back and enjoy the show. No, these Giants are the ultimate high wire act -- an eternal edge-of-your-seat cardiac arrest in orange and black where one's mere survival often requires a dose of nitrogycerin pills in one hand and a bottle of Jack Daniel's in the other.

Fear the Beard. Uh, yeah. I go totally Curt Schilling towel when the game is on the line. I'm Orange and Black until I die, but do they have to be the cause of death? How's that gonna look on a coroner's report. And you thought David Carradine's passing was embarrasing.

"Uh, it was like this. Brian Wilson walked the tying and go-ahead runners, and I heard this thud. The Ranter was found wearing a rally thong, a Buster Posey BP jersey and a Tim Lincecum wig, lying on the floor with a rubber chicken across his chest. I would have called 9-1-1 sooner, but there were still two outs to go."

A lot will be said as the Giants move on. It's a flawed team that by all rights shouldn't be where it is. They can't hit a lick. The defense comes and goes. The bullpen can prompt a case of the yips. They survive on the strength of starting pitching and sheer guts. And yet, there's something oddly appealing about a team that just won't quit.

The Giants are the baseball equivalent of the bend-but-don't-break defense. Their entire game plan consists of turning loose those arms and holding the opposition down until something they get a break or their foe finds a way to screw up.

An assist definitely goes to the Braves, who made seven errors in four games and, yet again, lost a game where the Giants managed just one untainted run. But that's how it's been with these guys -- hope to luck into a handful of runs and let the pitching make it stand up.

Speaking of pitching, how about Madison Bumgarner? He's just the latest in a string of Giants who have unleashed their inner Brian Doyle on the game's big stage. Lincecum, Cain, Sanchez, Ross and now Madbum are thumbing their nose at the conventional wisdom -- that experience wins games. It seems live arms are a much more valuable commodity.

This was a mindboggling stat: the Braves were 0-7 at Turner Field when facing elimination. Make that 0-8. Of course, they'd also never won a Game Five in a Five-Game series. All  can say is that I'm glad they didn't get a chance to test that streak.

Philly will be a tall order. In defeating the Braves the Giants pitched well, but they didn't play well. Bruce Bochy certainly didn't coach well. Can they overcome again?

I'm gonna get rapped for bagging on Bochy, but I thought he misfired multiple times in Game Four. Rowand as a pinch hitter in that situation was insane. If you intend to hit for Fontenot (and I wouldn't have), you don't go with a guy who swings at stuff in the dirt against a pitcher who likes to bounce sliders. The choice there should have been Edgar "Butterfingers" Renteria. I make the same defensive move (Renteria to short, Uribe to third) but you save a hitter.

A better use for Rowand would have been running for Burrell. Bochy was gonna lift him anyway. How much of a difference would that extra run have meant had Rowand been trying to score on Ross's single instead of old leadfoot? Same animal in the ninth. If Bochy hasn't wasted Rowand earlier, he's got options to run for Huff, who was going to come out for defense anyway. Botched from the word "go."

Thankfully, the Giants found a clutch hitter tonight, and surprisingly it was Cody Ross. I didn't want this guy. I thought he was a huge mistake.

"So, Mr. Ranter, how do you like your crow."

The G-men were being no-hit into the sixth, and it looked bleak. Then Ross smacked what was probably Derek Lowe's only mistake of the night for the homer to tie it. It was Ross again with the game-winner. Maybe he's no Brian Johnson, but he's a fan favorite right now.

And I'm glad to have someone else to like because it'll take my mind off hating Renteria. He entered the game for, uh, defense, and promptly geeked a soft liner that should have ended the eighth, slapping the ball to the ground like it was a live grenade. Had Alex Gonzalez actually been running on the play, it could have been a disaster. Perhaps it was some kind of shortstop courtesy pact that allowed Renteria to get one out on the play. Regardless, it gave the Braves an extra swing of the bat and put the trying run in scoring position. As good as the Giants hurlers have been, giving away outs ain't fair. Save the charity for the Goodwill clothing drive.

It's a truism of baseball: put someone into the game and the ball will immediately find him. We saw a lot of that in this series, even on balls not hit to Brooks Conrad. The teams combined for 11 errors in four games, and there were mental miscues all over the place. Artistic is wasn't.

But it sure was fun.

The Giants do have a chance to beat Philly, but it's that  "Rocky beats Apollo Creed" kind of chance. The starters, as good as they were against Atlanta, have to be even better in the NLCS. Funny thing is, there's nothing that says they can't do just that.

And they have to find some offense. Can you imagine how good this team would be with just a competent attack? Heck, they'd be, uh, the Phillies!

Timmy versus Halladay on Saturday night, both on full rest. Can an NLCS game end 0-0? Great. More torture.

Hurt me.



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